I don’t know about you, but I love alpha women. We know what we want and unapologetically go after it. We take charge and take risks. We are comfortable in our skin and not afraid of challenging situations or people. When I see another alpha woman, I make friends right away.
I want a strong tribe, filled with women who also know what they want out of life and will settle for nothing less. I want to surround myself with tenacious women who empower other women.
And while we’re at it, let’s talk about this miscommunication that I see contaminating social media. The meme is right, we don’t run, we make moves. And, we are not pack creatures who operate solely on hierarchy. We are members of a tribe, that is comprised of numerous alphas and supporting roles, who work together towards common goals like success, happiness, growth, and freedom. As an alpha female, I’m annoyed and offended by this meme. It assumes insecurity. It assumes that another alpha woman in my tribe is a threat to my success, to my potential… to me. I call bullshit! A true alpha woman is confident. She welcomes healthy competition and thrives off of it. If I’m the only alpha in my tribe, who am I learning from? Who is pushing me to grow? Not only do I want to make moves with other alpha women, I need them to make moves.
Every alpha woman needs these five basic things from her tribe.
1. Support. An alpha woman puts herself out there, and sometimes “out there” can be a lonely place. It’s nice to know that you’re not alone and there are people in your corner, cheering your crazy ass on! If you love an alpha woman, support her in her attempts to leave her mark on the world.
2. Your Voice. All alpha women have a voice and they are going to use it, and most likely in bold ways.
They are not the women who just feel some type of way. They are the women who are going to tell you all about those feelings, and expect you to behave accordingly. Her voice is probably one of the things that you are drawn to. The things she says, the way she says them, and the conviction she says them with is attractive and influential.
If you wanna be near an alpha woman, she expects you to have a voice and also use it. Silence is compliance and she ain’t down with folks that sit idly by, so speak up my dear.
3. Tolerance. There is going to come a time when she says something that you won’t like or won’t agree with. This is important to remember: she don’t care.
If she did care, she probably wouldn’t have said it. You need to decide whether you want to be in a relationship with this woman, and if you do, you will need to learn how to exercise some… ok, A LOT of tolerance. God speed.
4. Balance. Most alpha women have one speed: HIGH.
The thing I value most about my tribe is that they respect the boundaries that are in place for my self-preservation. I am also forever grateful when they remind me to be kind to myself or to rest. I’m not saying your alpha woman will listen (I don’t) but I’m sure she will appreciate your attempt to protect her sanity (I do). Be the ying to her yang.
5. A safe space. This may be the most important one. While every alpha woman you know is basically a machine who moves from one place to another, like a ninja who makes shit happen, there is going to come a time where that well-oiled machine breaks down.
It’s inevitable. Remember her one speed? Well, you can’t maintain on HIGH forever. She needs someone who will be there when things don’t go as planned, and someone who won’t judge her vulnerable moment. Be her someone.
So, instead of circulating the notion that alpha women don’t run in packs, let’s circulate the notion that alpha women make moves supported by tribes, supported by you.