5 Things Every Alpha Woman Needs

I don’t know about you, but I love alpha women. We know what we want and unapologetically go after it. We take charge and take risks. We are comfortable in our skin and not afraid of challenging situations or people. When I see another alpha woman, I make friends right away.

best friends

I want a strong tribe, filled with women who also know what they want out of life and will settle for nothing less. I want to surround myself with tenacious women who empower other women.

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And while we’re at it, let’s talk about this miscommunication that I see contaminating social media. The meme is right, we don’t run, we make moves. And, we are not pack creatures who operate solely on hierarchy. We are members of a tribe, that is comprised of numerous alphas and supporting roles, who work together towards common goals like success, happiness, growth, and freedom. As an alpha female, I’m annoyed and offended by this meme. It assumes insecurity. It assumes that another alpha woman in my tribe is a threat to my success, to my potential… to me. I call bullshit! A true alpha woman is confident. She welcomes healthy competition and thrives off of it. If I’m the only alpha in my tribe, who am I learning from?  Who is pushing me to grow? Not only do I want to make moves with other alpha women, I need them to make moves. 

Every alpha woman needs these five basic things from her tribe.

1. Support. An alpha woman puts herself out there, and sometimes “out there” can be a lonely place. It’s nice to know that you’re not alone and there are people in your corner, cheering your crazy ass on! If you love an alpha woman, support her in her attempts to leave her mark on the world.

group hug

2. Your Voice. All alpha women have a voice and they are going to use it, and most likely in bold ways.


They are not the women who just feel some type of way. They are the women who are going to tell you all about those feelings, and expect you to behave accordingly. Her voice is probably one of the things that you are drawn to. The things she says, the way she says them, and the conviction she says them with is attractive and influential.

If you wanna be near an alpha woman, she expects you to have a voice and also use it. Silence is compliance and she ain’t down with folks that sit idly by, so speak up my dear.

3. Tolerance. There is going to come a time when she says something that you won’t like or won’t agree with. This is important to remember: she don’t care.

dont care

If she did care, she probably wouldn’t have said it. You need to decide whether you want to be in a relationship with this woman, and if you do, you will need to learn how to exercise some… ok, A LOT of tolerance. God speed.

4. Balance. Most alpha women have one speed: HIGH. 


The thing I value most about my tribe is that they respect the boundaries that are in place for my self-preservation. I am also forever grateful when they remind me to be kind to myself or to rest. I’m not saying your alpha woman will listen (I don’t) but I’m sure she will appreciate your attempt to protect her sanity (I do). Be the ying to her yang.

5. A safe space. This may be the most important one. While every alpha woman you know is basically a machine who moves from one place to another, like a ninja who makes shit happen, there is going to come a time where that well-oiled machine breaks down.


It’s inevitable. Remember her one speed? Well, you can’t maintain on HIGH forever. She needs someone who will be there when things don’t go as planned, and someone who won’t judge her vulnerable moment. Be her someone.

So, instead of circulating the notion that alpha women don’t run in packs, let’s circulate the notion that alpha women make moves supported by tribes, supported by you.

alpha women

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Kenya Raymer is a writer, blogger, dancer and the hostess of the natural-hair meet up Curls & Cocktails. She is a self-love enthusiast who uses her natural-hair platform as a space to discuss hair and all things beautiful & real. She is loving in Nashville, TN, where she promotes the local eats, animal rescue, self-awareness, personal growth, happiness and finding comfort in your own skin.

10 thoughts on “5 Things Every Alpha Woman Needs

  1. Great share and I do love me some strong no bs taking women, the side I don’t really care for is the too strong to need or want a man around Alpha woman. Though I always believe we can and we do anything just as well alone there is nothing wrong with having our wonderful amazing partners feel like men and having them run the show from time to time 🙂 xo

  2. Great read!! Especially love your take on the first meme!! I totally agree! We can work together and all be “Alpha Women” Love it! I’m sharing with my girls now! 🙂

  3. I love this and totally agree! I don’t like the notion that Alphas can’t rock together because we can and we can move mountains. This idea that we have to be islands doesn’t work for me, especially, because when I’m not on HIGH i definitely need safe spaces to retreat to. Where I can recharge and share stories and feel the connectedness of my tribe. I love them hard too…and I ride hard for them…but as you mention, I’ve had to learn to let them be there for me. That’s the balance you speak of…it took some time but it’s growth for sure to be able to fall back and follow, but there’s so much value in realizing we can learn from the other ladies in our tribe. ❤

  4. This resonated with me, particularly #5. With life in general, I’m controlling and I don’t tolerate overt foolishness. I can be outspoken. If there’s a point I have to make, it’s self imposed torture to remain silent. I’d be the first to say that I can be an overall handful; I know what’s best for my life. However, with respect to romantic relationships, it’s required they be that loving, safe place for me! I have to reconnect with my femininity, my more feminine side. I will submit to a strong leader. If he’s weak, we’re then at odds, which throws off my chakras. It’s complicated.

  5. To my Alpha Tribe, and you know who you are….MUCH GRATITUDE! #iamnotalonebecauseofmytribe #wesupporteachother

  6. I love love love this article. I told my tribe this morning how I love being around women who are unafraid, speak up, and make moves. I totally feed off the energy of my tribe and other alpha women. Thank you for writing such an amazing article.

  7. I loved this post. Strong, secure individuals welcome like minded individuals who will help them grow. I really needed to read this and learn to not be threatened by other strong women ❤️

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