7 ways to find comfort in your own skin

I have been thinking about our skin a lot lately, and how there are so many people who are uncomfortable in theirs. Many things in this world, are out of our control, but who you choose to be, is not one of those things. Here are 7 ways to find comfort in your own skin.

1 Spend time alone.

If you don’t like yourself, how do you expect others to like you? You don’t have to go out into the wilderness and avoid human contact for days at a time, but you do need to schedule a little time here, and a little time there, to be alone and get to know yourself. If you’re not comfortable being alone with your thoughts, this is the perfect time to explore the things that make you happy!

You can read a book, listen to music, journal, go for a run (or walk, running is hard), take up knitting, go to a movie, or my favorite: hit up that new restaurant no one else wants to go to!

2 Say goodbye.

That’s right, throw them twos to anyone or any situation that is no longer serving you. That partner who is no longer meeting your needs or inspiring you to grow, goodbye. That one-way friendship where the other person only calls when they need something, but never answers when it’s time to return the favor, goodbye. That family member who only feeds you negativity, goodbye. That job that takes every last bit of your sanity, goodbye. How can you expect to like yourself, if you don’t like the relationships you are participating in?

3Find your tribe.

Now that we’ve had a toast to the douchebags, let’s fill your life with people who will help you grow, inspire you to greatness, and fill your days with moments that you never want to end.

You don’t have to look for your tribe. Go to the spaces that make you happy. Your tribe is already there! If you like to read, go to bookstores, libraries and spaces where books are being discussed. If you like music, your tribe is at concerts, festivals, and the one million other places where music is being celebrated. If you like to travel, there are companies out there that put together trips for individuals who are traveling solo but don’t want to be alone! Like yoga… find a new yoga home. Like to work out… explore your local gyms and run clubs. The spaces for you to connect with your tribe are endless. You can’t hope that someone you grew up with, work with, or just met, will become your tribe. It happens! But, the world is big and diverse. It’s best to put in the leg work to make it smaller. Who knows, maybe all the time you are spending alone, in your happy places, will lead to a new tribe member!

4  Own up. I see you with all that baggage!

Owning up is hard, but necessary. If you are not happy or comfortable in your own skin, chances are, you have been choking down some issues over the years. Time to let them out, face them, and move through them.

If you plan to do the work alone, get a journal and find some self-care workshops or reading that makes the work real. If you don’t know what your issues are or how to go about tackling them, find someone who does! There are all kinds of therapists, counselors, and life coaches out there, just waiting to help you get your shit together. You will never be happy or like who you are, if you are carrying moments and insecurities that make you feel otherwise.

5  Do shit that scares you. Yes, you have to.

Afraid to travel, book a trip. Afraid of dogs, pet one on the street. Afraid to date again, have a friend introduce you to another friend. Afraid of heights, jump out of a plane. Afraid of spiders, well you’re on your own because I am too!

Doing things that scare you will get you out of your comfort zone. When you are in an unfamiliar space, you will be more patient and more forgiving in this space. You will be more compassionate in this space, and more open in this space. You will then take all that growth back with you, and make your space, a better place.

6Take care of YOU.

All that life you are breathing into someone or something else, stop. And, breathe it into you instead. We treat others with so much care. We anticipate their needs and attempt to meet them without request. We are happy to troubleshoot their issues, drop our plans for theirs, and give give give until there is nothing left for us.

If you took care of yourself the way you take care of others, you’d be well-fed, well-rested, your dreams would be nurtured, and your spirits would be lifted. Take care of you, there is only one.

7Be unapologetically you.

Do the work to find out the things you like and the things you don’t, the people and moments that you will fight for and those you won’t, and the things you stand for and the things you don’t and won’t stand for. Then be that person. Be that person in every decision, and in every action. Being you not only feels good, but it inspires others to be themselves too. And who doesn’t want to be in a world, where people feel safe and inspired to just be.


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Kenya Raymer is a writer, blogger, dancer and the hostess of the natural-hair meet up Curls & Cocktails. She is a self-love enthusiast who uses her natural-hair platform as a space to discuss hair and all things beautiful & real. She is loving in Nashville, TN, where she promotes the local eats, animal rescue, self-awareness, personal growth, happiness and finding comfort in your own skin.

14 thoughts on “7 ways to find comfort in your own skin

  1. I follow you on pretty much all of your social networks (not to be creepy), lol, but I think your blog is by far my favorite platform of yours!

    I admire your courage to be authentically you! You are open, you are honest, you are transparent, & it is amazing to witness it every time you post something! You always give me a little push on the inside every time I second guess posting something that’s super open or honest.

    Keep letting your light shine, Kenya! You’re lighting up the world. 💕

  2. Lord knows I’ve needed a Kenya in my life. There’s a sense of ” I see things a bit more clear now” when I read from your heart. Thank You. You have no idea queen! Thank You.

  3. I’m having a hard time at life right now. This really helped put things into perspective. Thank you so much.

  4. Kenya 🙂 Thank you for sharing your “you” with us ! I have been reading your blogs lately as I am seeking some realness in life (living outside of the country for 4 years now has been quite the trip to say the least all the while extremely enriching). However when living in a different culture, country, government, language and even hemisphere as an adult is no easy task and it is very easy to get lost. I appreciate you sharing some life factors with us. Looking forward to dancing with you again soon ! Hugs ! Julia

  5. Choosing your is one thing, living that choice is another. I will be turning forty next year and have been trying to sync up with myself for the past 5 years. I have removed negative ppl from my life, tried to find my thing and quitting my job as bold as that sounds terrifies me when I have my daughters of consider. Time is now my issue and I feel like I’m wasting it as who I am wastes away. I am proud and honoured to watch you sync up with who you are but sometimes life doesn’t allow the time for us to all settle in.

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