I wanted to kick today’s ass. I love to kick ass because kicking ass makes me feel good. And, I could use a little feel good. I wanted to wake up early (not tooooo early, let’s not be ridiculous), go to yoga, walk Walli, grocery shop, run some errands, and finally finish my Sicily blog.
Instead I woke up to my husband banging around in the kitchen. I hate being woke up before I’m ready or plan to get up. I mean, I hate it. I turn into the ugliest of gremlins and this morning was no exception. My whole morning was thrown off, I ended up missing yoga and by 9:45am, I had declared this whole day fucked!
Then my best friend called and we talked the entire time that I would have been in yoga, and we talked through my whole walk with Walli. And, I was so grateful to have been available. She just lost her husband, and hearing her voice shifted my situation into perspective. I had a vision in my mind of how today would go, and it did not…. go, at all. But, that is life. Some days you wake up and feel like your whole day is fucked, and some days you wake up with so much more at stake. I need to be grateful that I’m sitting in a space of the former, and not the latter.
I started today off, on the wrong and the most ungrateful foot. And, in an attempt to salvage the rest of the day, I worked towards finding my truth: I won’t kick today’s ass, it is kicking mine instead. But, there is good here.
I used to kick ass at my job, and now that I don’t work, I feel like I rarely kick ass. But, kicking ass was killing me and I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy or at peace before. Today opened my eyes to the trade off that is at play. Sometimes we need a little shift in perspective to remind us of the space we occupy, that our expectations are not always what we need, and that there is good here.
Today is not fucked. Today is another opportunity to work through my shit, to be grateful, to love my people, and to be better than I was yesterday. Today is not the day to be a gremlin. Today is an opportunity to be happy and at peace.