You may have noticed, I’m a take charge kinda gal. I like shit done + I like it done my way. She was due Saturday and I just knew she wasn’t coming. I also knew that since she wasn’t coming on time, I was shutting this party down + inducing by the 10th. Someone had to take charge. 40 weeks is a long damn time!
When we got into the doctor’s office this morning, I was waiting for them to tell me I was 6cm dilated + to head to the hospital. I don’t even know if that’s how shit works! But, that’s how it was working in my mind. So, when she said that I had went from 2.5cm dilated to 1cm… backwards! I almost fell off the fucking table!
Watching my type A husband wrap his mind around that concept was pure comedy:
James: how far is she dilated?
James: so that’s 3.5cm
Doctor: no, that’s 1cm
James: no, she was 2.5 + the 1cm?
Doctor: no. She’s 1cm
The next step was to make a plan. I was told I could induce since we were past due + just as I was sure the words “Let’s Induce!” would fall out my mouth, “So we wait” came out instead. My plan was to rush her + make this shit happen, true to my nature. But, I’m pretty sure this is lesson no. 1 with this Virgo girl of mine, and so I will step back, breathe + let her do her, even though it is trulyyyyy at my expense.
My job as her mother, is to make sure that she has all the resources I can afford her + then get out of her way. The rest is up to her. So, I will rest, continue to eat hella good, continue to monitor her + give her as much time as they are giving me. And, she will learn that just like with all things in the universe, you are given the opportunity to make the choice, learn the lesson + do it in your own time, and if you don’t… the universe will do that shit for you.
I am officially stepping back. I believe in her. She will come, on her own + in her own time. I still predict on the 9th or 10th. But, if not… the universe + I will see her stubborn ass on the 14th.