39 Weeks

 

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I know this looks a lot like the same shot I posted a couple weeks ago, but if you look closely, you will notice it’s changed in small ways. It has slowly been filled with sweet notions that represent myself, James, our hopes of who she will be + hopefully inspiration for whoever she will be.

This sweet ass nursery is a lot like me + the holes I’ve been filling over the past 6 years. From a snapshot, I bet I look the same, but I’ve slowly been filling the holes that loss has left behind, with love for myself, love for James, hopes of the mother I plan to be + inspiration for the mother I will be. It’s been a marathon, not a sprint, to this space that looks the same from the outside, but feels so very different on the inside.

I’m grateful I took the time to unpack the pieces of my grief. It has left space for so much love, this child + this sweet ass nursery. And even though we may look the same on the outside, we will never be the same on the inside. I don’t think we ever fully heal from the loss of babies + the dreams that come with them; but I do think that time allows us to fill with love + learn how to carry the load lighter.

No matter what the other side of your journey looks like, may your holes be filling with love, may your days be brighter + may you feel different on the inside.

xok

Catch up or follow along #RainbowBabyRaymers journey

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Kenya Raymer is a writer, blogger, dancer and the hostess of the natural-hair meet up Curls & Cocktails. She is a self-love enthusiast who uses her natural-hair platform as a space to discuss hair and all things beautiful & real. She is loving in Nashville, TN, where she promotes the local eats, animal rescue, self-awareness, personal growth, happiness and finding comfort in your own skin.

5 thoughts on “39 Weeks

  1. You inspire me to embrace the journey of grief and loss; to take the good and the bad and really take the time to experience it. Because out of it stems healing, and truly living the new life I have as a woman with an angel baby.

  2. For women who have experienced loss of a child or any loss, in its various forms; you bring light, you bring hope, you bring this push to look on towards the then that is to come with your journey and the words that tell it. However, the push is joined with the encouragement to reflect on everything that took place to get you to where you are now. I could go on and on but in short, thank you.

  3. Kenya …. Dear Kenya,

    Thank You…..i’m grateful to know you in this space that you allow us to know you. You make me thankful to have the opportunity to try again!

    Adhari

  4. I have truly enjoyed your journey over these last 39 weeks. I myself lost two babies, the memories of the lost bring pain, fear, darkness, and sometimes anger. With watching your journey it has helped me to speak on my grief, not feel ashamed and to endure the loss of what could’ve been…. Thanks for sharing with us!!

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