Goodbyes & Hellos

Goodbye summer, and hello fall.
Goodbye cycle one, and hello cycle two…

Yesterday, I talked my doctor into a pregnancy test on my blood work, because I was too impatient to wait 9 more days. I got the NEGATIVE news late last night and thought I was fine. This morning I was not fine. I was sad. It took me awhile to get here, to be ready. I feel like I’ve been in transition for far too long, and I’m ready, deserving, dare I say entitled to, a positive outcome.

I love new adventures and new chapters, but I hate the space we must move through to get to there. I don’t like transition. I don’t like the uncertainty and the anxiety that accompanies it. And as I moved through the day, I realized that I was transitioning out of a space that I love and into one I’m not to fond of. Goodbye summer. Hello Fall. 

But this afternoon, I am much better. I cried. I mourned the sun, the heat, the long days, and cycle one. I meditated, practiced yoga, killed a swarm of wasps that invaded during yoga, ate some olives, and I am moving on. I am moving forward. I am moving through.

Maybe I was charging all summer. Absorbing the sun, healing in the water, storing energy manifesting light, so I would be ready for fall. Ready for the harvest. Ready to shed these leaves of fear and insecurity. Maybe, all of this was to make sure I was ready for the last quarter. Maybe this is an extension of my transition.

Either way, I’m here. I’m in this space and I can’t go around. I must go through. And, I’m committed to loving myself through whatever is on the other side.

*please, please be a baby on the other side. A girl. Or twins if it can be one boy & one girl bc I’m all about efficiency. And, please let it happen soon because I’m impatient as fuck! thank you💚*

What?! You gotta put it out there and be specific. Happy Fall Equinox luvvhers.


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Kenya Raymer is a writer, blogger, dancer and the hostess of the natural-hair meet up Curls & Cocktails. She is a self-love enthusiast who uses her natural-hair platform as a space to discuss hair and all things beautiful & real. She is loving in Nashville, TN, where she promotes the local eats, animal rescue, self-awareness, personal growth, happiness and finding comfort in your own skin.

5 thoughts on “Goodbyes & Hellos

  1. I hope you absorb all the light and tranquility you need to fulfill your dream. With patience and serenity the time will come.

  2. Reading this on August 1, 2017 – Wow, what a testimony. You asked the Universe for your baby girl, + look how the universe gives back. I am so happy for you, + you deserve all that this world has to offer. I am currently pregnant, 10 weeks. I am beyond happy, dealing with pregnancy rage(oh god it’s bad), eating…a lot…everything… but most of all, scared. Scared for myself, scared of miscarriage, + most of all scared that my child will be one day exposed to the ugly world we live in. I’ve been on your blog for hours now, + I just want to thank you. For being authentic, for being YOU. For telling your truths, about your dark times + even more, sharing your journey to motherhood with us. You don’t know how much you’ve taught me in the last hour. Sending you nothing but positive vibes + love as you continue to nurture your beautiful babygirl. Thank you again for your words that have touched my soul. Thank you to the universe for bringing me here. You’re truly a light in this dark world, thank you for your rays. Blessings to you ❤

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